On First Day of X Year of Uni

Technically it's not the first day yet. It's gonna start in a few days, and lowkey? I feel confident for this semester. I feel good about it. I've been manifesting stuff (lol a girl can only try) about my life turning to a more positive and even calmer road.

I've always been a really stressful, anxious, and tense individual. But I don't really know what happened, these past few months. I have caught myself being a little too composed. I'm proud of it of course, but I really still have no idea what made me calmer. Maybe because my frontal lobe finally developed? Or maybe I just grew up? Growing up in a noisy household made me an easily agitated adult. I'm not trying to blame anyone for my own action, the measure I took towards living my life. But, I do think my angry self really was just my response to the harsh wave of life I absorbed at such a young age. 

As I grow, I noticed I've always turn my attention to some hobbies every time my house was being loud, I took over singing, playing instruments, reading, writing,  sewing, and even at some point I joined the girl scout lol. I got exposed to the internet also at such a young age, this is the other reason of why I took on so many hobbies, more internet = more thing to explore. But again, they say too much of something is still bad for you, because of this I'm pretty sure it made my anger issues worse lolll. People are so harsh on the internet, though I realized it made me very aware of any danger as I grow up because of how much I knew from the internet. 

Anyway, all these hobbies I gather through out the years made me notice that I prefer calmer, peaceful, and quiet surroundings rather than loud, jumping-around, fast paced type of environment. I guess human does yearn for the village community. 

I don't even know what 'm talking about anymore, maybe all I'm trying to say is the reason why you get angry is because there's a part of you that yearns for peace instead and it's trying to fight for its place, by protecting itself, by being angry. Though for me these days, I try to lean into the peacefulness more rather than feeding the anger that usually is going to ended up draining my energy. I hope we all can deal with the angry and draining part of ourselves and eventually found our peace. 

That's all I gotta say for today's log, I hope you have a wonderful day/night and I'll see you on the next post! Bye-bye!

-Clementine. xx